They Have No Real Control

Swirling, swaying
At times delaying,
Interior decaying,
Who cares what they're saying.
They're not the ones paying,
I'm paying the price.
What my own thoughts are saying
Is not their device.
They can't control what I feel
No matter how much they spiel
About how I should deal, about how I should feel.
Yet they continue to steal my right to feel and
Find it okay to peel back my mind
For their personal shield.

Futile are their efforts,
They try hard to know better,
When all they know is how to wet a bed and
Cry like babies in diapers.
And their diapers, full of lies
And crimes inside their minds
As they find ways to terrorize,
While insecurities exercise their motives.
It's like they idolize my downfall
As I revitalize, theyre weakened,
Wounded by my might
They can't fight
They, are beaten.

Only God can decide for me
By his will, I abide fully,
And as I live on slowly
No one but him can control me.
His way is the only that matters.
I'd rather climb the heavenly ladder
Than take the worldly latter
And fall into the batter of hell.
His word speaks to me, in me, through me,
Their words can't even sway me.
So I'll follow God, instead of nurture this baby.

What?

The feeling overwhelming,
Stacking each decision ,
Suffocating me further
The pressure is suppressing my chest,
And my head is spinning uncontrollably,
As I figure which decision is the best.

Each thought ricochets off the inner walls of my mind,
Buzzing, rushing as though I'm pressed on time.
Which way is right?
Which way is not?
Can it be that my weakness has been caught?
My obstacle, yes, proves a challenge.
Even more so when I still don't know what it is.

There are many things to do and still more to come.
Taking each day at a time can be very loathsome
Especially when the future is around each corner
And expectations rise
And sloth-like tendencies tend to arouse demise.

Goals are set, many are fair
But the path to reach them are still unclear
Still I take one day
Maybe waste a few
And for what?
I don't want to bite more than I can chew,
Yet I still do.

What--do I want wealth and fame?
What--is all of life just a game?
What--can't it ever stay the same?
Like when my largest conflict was when i broke a Barbie,
Or when nap-time was required,
when the hardest decision was to decide if I was tired,
or what game to play on a Saturday.

Sigh. The complications of life.
Humanity adds the worry and the strife.
But I still have to carry, to push on forward,
And to endure scary and push aside the coward.

Breathless

"I get so breathless when you call my name. I've often wondered do you feel the same? There's a chemistry, energy, a synchronicity when we're all alone. So don't tell me you can't see what I'm thinking of" -Corrine Bailey Rae

Undecided

Hardly seen
Never around
So why is it ever-present?
This feeling,
Not able to produce a sound,
It's not even effervescent!
Lovely as lilac,
Deadly as demons,
and yet, I feel it so.
Sometimes I wish that just one day
I wish that it would go.

But what's the fun in feeling nothing?
The fun in pseudo-thought?
To abandon that which brings excitement
and quickens beating of your heart?
What's the fun to embitter the mind
and to disregard what was taught?
The pleasure is simply the opposite
and all the good is caught.

So I continue to debate
Whether or not to feel
Whether I should sedate the thought
or if I should seal the deal.
I usually over-think,
and naturally I can't decide
If I should continue this crazy ride.
Until I choose what course I'll take
I'll make sure the thought's inside.

Coke and 6-Strings

It's been awhile;
It must be guile
That makes you appear from thin air.

How red compliments--
It makes no sense
That I feel in a way that's not fair.

Guitar in one hand.
How I cannot stand
That you have a Coke in the other.

Because with that similarity
It strengthens nonpolarity,
And that keeps us from each other.

Write

The mood is set
The wheels are turning
Words spewing out, words churning
No way to stop
To end the frenzy
Piranha, the mind, escaping its pansy
The only remedy
The logical cure
Is to write and write until the mind is sure.