Undecided

Hardly seen
Never around
So why is it ever-present?
This feeling,
Not able to produce a sound,
It's not even effervescent!
Lovely as lilac,
Deadly as demons,
and yet, I feel it so.
Sometimes I wish that just one day
I wish that it would go.

But what's the fun in feeling nothing?
The fun in pseudo-thought?
To abandon that which brings excitement
and quickens beating of your heart?
What's the fun to embitter the mind
and to disregard what was taught?
The pleasure is simply the opposite
and all the good is caught.

So I continue to debate
Whether or not to feel
Whether I should sedate the thought
or if I should seal the deal.
I usually over-think,
and naturally I can't decide
If I should continue this crazy ride.
Until I choose what course I'll take
I'll make sure the thought's inside.